Create Relationships That Build Your Influence
By Tammy Kapeller
The Stepping Stone, May 2022
Influence: The power to change or affect someone or something; the power to cause changes without directly forcing them to happen.[1]
When I consider high ranking leaders I have known, the trait that stands out is their ability to build commitment by persuading others to assent to their point of view. These leaders are smart, but that is not what sets them apart. Their unique quality is the ability to get what they want for themselves and their organization.
The key to influencing others is cultivating strong relationships. Building rapport with a variety of people may not be something we are used to working on. It is more comfortable to make friends with the people we work with and people who share our attitudes and interests. Purposely engaging with those with whom we have less in common can be intimidating. However, building relationships does not necessarily mean making friends.
This article explores how to create influential relationships with three different entities—your direct reports, peer group and boss.
Influencing Direct Reports
Direct reports are likely the easiest to influence because they already get direction and feedback from us as leaders. It may be easy to dictate needs and requirements of a task or project, but great leaders work with their teams to develop results collaboratively.
Knowing each team member well can help you understand what drives them, their strengths and weaknesses and their purpose or incentive to come to work each day:
- In addition to team meetings, spend individual time with each person on a regular basis and really listen to what they have to say about their job, team and organization.
- Ask them what their career goals are and help them develop an action plan to reach them.
- Advocate for team members during HR discussions and make sure they have opportunities throughout the organization.
- Ask the team what is working well, what is not and what improvements they would make if they were in charge.
- Let them be part of the decision-making process by contributing to discussions before a decision is made and listen to their objections. They have the unique ability to provide hands-on information related to what may or may not work and provide insight to even better solutions.
- Take time to explain why certain decisions have been made and how they fit with the company’s vision.
- Provide honest feedback to team members and ask for their feedback as well.
Once trust is developed, individuals will tend to be more open with their team and leader. Having a vision that the whole team understands helps you achieve your desired goals more quickly and in a coordinated and committed manner.
Influencing Your Peers
In the context of this article, “peer group” refers to the people in our organization holding positions that have similar ranking to ours. We may or may not work closely with members of our peer group, so it is important to network throughout the organization and get to know as many peers as possible.
Learning about the daily functions and problems your peers encounter will help you appreciate how different departments work together to accomplish the overall vision of your organization. Learn how to help peers with their issues and share what they can do for you. Be flexible and find solutions that work for everyone and fit within the political realities of the organization. Working with your peers to develop mutually acceptable outcomes will allow you to share expertise and knowledge which influence tactical and strategic objectives, benefiting the entire organization. This can also help to break down the silos that tend to inhibit collaboration across large organizations.
One way to build peer relationships and influence organizational outcomes is through collaboration on a task force or project. These types of projects are usually high-profile and get a lot of attention from leadership. Contributing positively with your presence, good ideas and hard work will demonstrate your value to peers and leaders. Communicating and presenting ideas and solutions in a passionate and informed manner can influence important future decisions on the direction of the organization.
Influencing Your Boss
Influencing your boss may seem more challenging. Most of us have regular interaction with our boss in the form of team and individual meetings, so take these opportunities to always present yourself in a professional, objective manner.
Be present and listen attentively during group meetings. Present ideas thoughtfully and clearly, showing consideration for pros and cons. Showing passion for an idea or project can help sell it and get others excited to help.
When giving a presentation, think it through carefully in advance and emphasize the ideas or results that are meaningful and beneficial to the audience. Acknowledge and address the known barriers and costs of any proposal objectively and share thoughts for mitigation. It may be helpful to discuss presentations with your boss in advance of a larger group to incorporate helpful feedback. Your boss and other leaders are more likely to support your ideas if you consciously consider and discuss their goals and viewpoints.
Spending individual time with your boss can help you comprehend their personal objectives along with the strategy and vision for the company. Sharing ideas and asking for feedback lets your boss know that you care what they think and value their input. Meet with them regularly and often to share progress on objectives and next steps to establish priorities and maintain agreement on outcomes.
Share aspirations and thoughts for career development and ask for advice. Awareness of your personal goals will aid your boss when considering potential opportunities within the organization. Take time to find out how other leaders became successful in the organization and consider how to learn from their mentorship.
Ultimately, positive influence begins with strong relationships. While maintaining authenticity, mutual respect, and integrity, it is worthwhile to develop contacts, associations and affiliations that benefit your work, organization, and career growth.
Statements of fact and opinions expressed herein are those of the individual authors and are not necessarily those of the Society of Actuaries, the editors, or the respective authors’ employers.
Tammy Kapeller, ACC, FSA, MBA, is an executive leadership coach at Candid Consulting, LLC in Overland Park, Kansas. She can be reached at Tammy@CandidConsultingLLC.com. LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tammy-kapeller-candidconsultingllc/.